I'm Sam, and I'm pretty swell, thank you.
DCI, getting into 30 Rock, Breaking Bad, etc. I read and play soccer and swim and notice I'm making run on sentences too late.
fun prank: wake up during open heart surgery and sing don’t go breakin’ my heart to the surgeon
i just figured out the perfect murder
kill someone and bury them in their own garden
that way if the police find them they’ll think it was a suicide
#welp looks like the victim committed suicide and promptly buried themselves in their garden #how considerate of them